Dating & Relationship

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How Will Herpes Affect Your Life?

If you have been recently diagnosed that you are suffering from herpes, the first thought that comes to mind is how you will handle this unwanted change in your life. The feeling of anger and sadness as well as getting worried for your future is normal. However, don’t worry; as you can still lead a rich and fulfilling life with your friends and family. In this article, we have highlighted some of the ways to improve your general state of life while living with herpes.

Herpes is a chronic sexually transmitted disease that has affected millions of people across the world. Individuals who notice herpes symptoms have to unfortunately stay with recurring symptoms for the rest of their life. There are some individuals who do not show any symptoms but are still suffering from herpes. The symptoms of herpes can differ from individual to individual, but the most common ones are fever, muscle soreness, and blisters with pus formation. The blisters usually last for 1-3 weeks, dry and fall off. However, they are back after a few days.

A few simple steps that you could follow to extend your herpes-free period is by having a healthy diet, exercising every day, drinking lots of water, and getting at least eight hours of uninterrupted sleep. There are certain foods that can trigger herpes outbreaks, so you should avoid having them completely. These small adjustments in your life will help you a lot in the long run.

Herpes may also affect one’s dating life. You need to be honest with your partner before any sexual activity. You should explain them the consequences of having sex with a herpes infected person. However, this can be embarrassing for many. To make life easier, a better option is to look for partners on herpes dating websites that are found in abundance.

With the advancement of Internet, there are several online dating websites that have been specially designed for mature individuals living with herpes. There are millions of members registered on the herpes dating websites who have found a partner online. The most important advantage of these sites is that the mature singles suffering from herpes do not have to worry about rejection or conveying their partner about the disease.

Thus, they can live a happy and normal life while having a successful relationship. You can find mature singles of all ages that are active on the sites. Moreover, the numerous forums on herpes dating sites as well as their chat facility are a great way to contact the herpes community and know about their stories. You can share your thoughts and ask queries too. This will build your confidence and provide the right path to lead a content life.

Although herpes is a fatal disease, that doesn’t mean you do not have to right to find a companion for yourself. The herpes dating websites are about finding love through understanding. If someone is really meant to be with you forever, then they will surely accept this part of your life. So, stay cool and find a compatible partner for yourself who will fill your life with happiness and take away all the sorrows and stress.

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Herpes Is Not Always The By-Product Of Unfaithfulness

Do We Truly Understand Herpes?

The truth is, no, we do not understand the condition well. Therefore, it is probably very silly of us to assume that herpes is always a result of disloyalty. We are not trying to say that infidelity never leads to herpes, because it does happen. However, when someone close to us or our partner contracts the disease, it is wrong to assume that they have been a cheating scoundrel. Our heart goes out to all those individuals who have caught the infection, having to face questions about their faithfulness on a daily basis, being judged by all those who find out that they have herpes.

New Form Of Genital Herpes

It is said that one out of four American adults has contracted herpes, which is quite a figure if you do the math. Recent studies have help dig out a piece of information that is crucial for all those men and women who assume that herpes is the by-product of disloyalty. This is: there is type of genital herpes that is being caused by the herpes simplex type 1 virus. Now, this is absolutely shocking, since the herpes simplex type 1 virus is known to cause just cold sores. However, these experts know what they are doing, don’t you think? Yes, we thought so too.

This type of genital herpes is can be passed on by the direct contact of a person with the sores. Often, this type of herpes occurs even when there are no visible symptoms. Experts have stated that this form of herpes comes about due to sexual contact, but does not require you to have had sexual intercourse with the infected person. Although in women genital herpes means painful and itchy sores on the vulva, in many cases these sores spread beyond the groin area.

Even If Your Partner Did Get It From Having Sexual Intercourse

Even though it is not too common, many initial outbreaks could pass by and you will not even figure it out. Therefore, even if you partner did get it from someone, it could have been before you two began dating or got married. And because it is possible for the initial outbreak to go by unnoticed, your partner may not have discovered that they have managed to contract herpes. The possibilities are endless, which is why you need to sit them down and have a long talk and clear things out before pointing fingers and making serious, hurtful accusations.

Ways To Help Keep This Problem In Check

There are several ways to keep your little infection in check, along with the outbreaks that take place every now and then. Some of these methods have been mentioned below:

  • The use of drugs that are antiviral could help in this matter. You would want to make sure that one of the following drugs is being prescribed to you: Acyclovir, Famciclovir, Penciclovir or Valacyclovir. These are taken orally and help reduce the occurrences of outbreaks.
  • Of course, when you are having sexual intercourse, be sure to make use of condoms to prevent any transmission of the herpes simplex infection. Additionally, keep away from any forms of other types of sexual contact, such as oral sex.
  • During an outbreak, you MUST take care of the sores and blisters. The areas need to be dry, which is why you must first wash them with water and soap.
  • See a doctor and discuss your condition, learn more and find out what will help your condition.

For more information about herpes testing, please visit this post Getting Tested For Herpes: The Real Procedures.

What If They HAVE Been Unfaithful?

This is something personal, which is why we think it is safe to say that the consequences are in the hands of those close to those who contracted herpes due to infidelity. However, let us remind you a handful of things:

  • Unless this person cheated on you, he/she definitely does not need your opinion about them and their personal life.
  • This person is already suffering due to the pain, fever and sore blisters and lesions. They probably could not have received a worse punishment. You could go a little easy with your behaviour towards them.
  • If you are the person who has been cheated on, put yourself in their shoes and ponder a little. Would you have wanted them to forgive you and help you through this difficult phase? If yes, then you should probably give them a chance too and support them through the tough times.
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Dating With Herpes: Stepping Into Unknown Waters

Dating? And Me?

Yes, a million times yes! Dating has been a part of this world since year zero. Dating is the first step to finding love and a happily ever after, along with being a tonne of fun! However, it is not as easy as it may seem, given the various problems that could arise. Herpes is just one of those issues, one that is usually hard to accept. Therefore, is it not wise to just avoid all the trial-and-error and get right to your Mr/Ms Right? Yes, we thought so too!

But… What Do I Do?

Below are some factors that will help you understand dating a little better and help you find the perfect partner for yourself:

Avoid: Focusing on Just the Chemistry

We completely understand the struggle of finding someone who makes you want to hang on to every word of theirs. In fact, dating can be tough like that; you will need to sift through a pile of people till someone comes along who just grabs your attention like it is no big deal. However, being blindly attracted to them, only because of the chemistry between you two, is not really a smart move.

For instance, if the person has herpes, would you actually want to take the risk of acquiring it, only because you two have this sizzle going on between you two? If your brain says “yes”, pay it no heed! This is because after you sleep with this person, find out that you have contracted herpes from them, only you would feel foolish, cursing yourself for being so driven by just attraction.

We do not mean that you are not entitled to find someone with similar interests and a great face/body. What we are trying to imply is, please do not be blinded by JUST the magnetism.

Embrace: Keeping a Good Vibe on

Do not let your past get to you. Whatever bad things have happened, learn from those and keep strong. There is a good chance that you WILL come across someone who makes the long wait feel like it was worth it. Then, all your past worries and miseries will not matter anymore.

Avoid: Being Wary of Finding Love

Of course, dating is not going to be easy, especially if you have had your fair share of failures. Yes, dating could get you highly exasperated and furious at times. However, do not give up! If you think you will not find love or that you will not even come across people who are your type, you are wrong. Maybe, all you need is to just give it some time. You must remember that losing hope and limiting your choices will not help at all; you will lose before you win. Get out there, show some enthusiasm and scout out some new, interesting people who could help you enjoy life. Who knows, you might find love soon.

Embrace: Being Fond of Your Partner

You know what absolutely kills the spark between you and a potential lover? That would be trying to turn the relationship into a series of counselling sessions. Yes, you can speak to your partner about your pet peeves, daddy issues and other personal stuff, but not at the first go! No one likes to be a punching bag or a therapist for the person they are dating. There will be a time when you find peace and comfort in each other’s presence, after some time of dating. Then, feel free to share everything. Till then, try to keep your relationship lively and enjoyable, so that your partner just cannot get enough of you.

Avoid: Do not Let Your Expectations Go Sky-high

Yes, people keep telling you that you deserve better than the last guy you dated. However, this does not mean that you need to let your expectations go unbelievably, dangerously high. Chances are, you will be disappointed. Besides, if you keep your expectations to somewhere average, you might be blown away when Mr/Ms Right comes walking through your door. Remember, being realistic is the key！

Embrace: Asking Your Partner if They Are Clean

Hey, there is no shame in that! Sexually transmitted diseases are common in several regions of the world. Herpes, Chlamydia, AIDS are just some of them, each having its own set of consequences. Do you want to contract any of these? Absolutely not! Therefore, when you are certain that you have found someone you want to be intimate with, ask them if they are clean. Your body is going to thank you for it!

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Reducing the Herpes Risk in Relationships: How Not To Spread and How Not To Get

Herpes is no small disease, effortless to get rid of, just like the flu. If you, your partner or someone close to you has acquired it, it is best to take precautions as herpes could be easily transmitted, especially through the act of having sexual intercourse. Therefore, we have arranged a list of the methods that could be used to limit the chances of contracting or transmitting herpes:

Manage Things with Your Partner

Now, not everyone is in a committed relationship, which is comprehensible. For all those men and women who are in the dating and partying scene need to remember to be careful. Some guidelines to live by would be:

  • Even if you are about to have a one night stand, ask them if they have any kind of sexually transmitted disease
  • Try to limit the number of sexual partners you have
  • If you are about to have sexual intercourse with a person, get to know them; ask them about the number of people they have had sexual intercourse with
  • If they have sores around their mouth or genitals, do not indulge in oral, vaginal or anal sex with them
  • Never have sexual intercourse with someone while under the influence of alcohol or drugs

Even those individuals who are in a committed relationship must be cautious, be it monogamous or polygamous. Now, we understand that having the talk with them about whether or not they have any STDs could be embarrassing for some of us. However, it is absolutely necessary, especially if you do not wish to spend the rest of your life regretting NOT asking the question. Here are some things you could try:

  • Make a pact to get the both of you checked for herpes
  • Ask them if they have had sexual intercourse with many people in the past
  • Ask them if they have ever had any form of STD in the past

One of the most important things to remember is to let your partner know about the matter, if you have herpes. They have the right to know and think about what they are about to get into.

Educating the Patients

A lot of people forget that herpes, although not deadly, could be quite scary. Also, there is a large portion of the general public that has never even heard of herpes. If you know anything at all about herpes, you should discuss it with those around you. Spread the message, as it may help just about anyone! Also, if you think you or someone close to you has it, speak to an expert about it and gather as much of information as you can.

Condoms

CondomSince there is no direct, skin-to-skin contact possible, latex condoms also prevent the transfer of the herpes virus. Admittedly, people were not subjected to experiments to understand the exact way that condoms help with keeping herpes at bay. However, countless questionnaires and polls that were taken over the course of the last decade or two showed that condoms definitely helped the matter; if a man has the herpes 2 virus, wearing a condom will assure a lower risk of him transmitting it to their partner, assuming they are both monogamous.

Abstinence

If someone has herpes, they have outbreaks every now and then. This is a period when the patient has sores and blisters around their mouth or their genitals, based on the type of herpes virus their body contains. Not only are they risking their partner by having sexual intercourse during such a time, they are also making the sex painful, thanks to their lesions and blisters. Therefore, the best idea during this time is to keep away from having sex.

Suppressive Therapy

A lot of brands and companies of dietary supplements or herbal preparations cite that they help eliminate the risks and problems of herpes completely. As a matter of fact, some swear that they completely rid the patient of the disease. However, these claims are baseless and are definitely not true. But there happens to be a method that could decrease the amount of viral discarding: herpes medications that need to be ingested every single day. Some of these medications are valacyclovir and acyclovir, the first offering up to 40-50% of risks of outbreaks. It seems that the daily intake of these medications help reduce the number of outbreaks, especially if you have been making use of them for a while now.

Lead a Relaxed Life

Taking a load of stress due to having acquired herpes could just make the matter worse. According to experts, being all uptight, upset and stressed out about herpes seems to correlate to the rate at which the patient has outbreaks. Therefore, do not forget to learn to love yourself and your body. Additionally, remember to keep smiling through it all!

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How to Begin Dating after Being Infected with Herpes – A Guide for Women

People who have been infected with genital herpes, especially women, find it very hard to get into the dating game again. The fear of rejection and the social stigma surrounding STDs makes it incredibly difficult to get your head in the right place and start dating again. Women especially are vulnerable to judgment, when they are infected with herpes. However, there has been a change in the way people are viewing STDs and dating, which is down to the number of STD dating websites that are giving people the chance to have a normal life and get back into the dating game.

Dating Guide for Women

Herpes is a virus that stays for life and if you have contracted the infection, you will have to live with it for the rest of your life. However, this doesn’t mean that your life is over, and you can start dating again with other people who have the knowledge and the understanding about herpes. There are quite a lot of herpes dating websites, which are designed to allow people to find love, even though they have been infected by STDs. This is especially helpful for women, who have to go through a lot once they are diagnosed with the virus.

Even though herpes dating websites offer support groups and lots of information about dating with herpes, women still find it hard to begin dating again. That is why we are providing them with the best ways that they can get their head back into the game. It is important to note that even though you have herpes, you can get infected again with a different type of the virus, which is why protection should still be practiced during sex. Here are the tips on how to begin dating after being infected with herpes for women.

Be Completely Honest

Women who have herpes find it difficult to be honest to their partners about their condition. However, if you choose not to disclose this information, you are only hurting them, and you have to be honest. Make sure that your date knows and understands about your condition before you begin dating them. They may even start appreciating you more due to your honesty. Follow this link to know more about how to tell your partner if you have herpes.

Have More Confidence

It is difficult to come to terms that you have herpes, but it is something that needs to be done. Just because you have an STD, doesn’t mean that your whole life has ended and you should lock yourself in a room. You can still have a normal life and start dating again after being infected with herpes. Self confidence is the key when you are dating with herpes and you need to accept your condition and not be ashamed about it. This can be hard but once you are confident with yourself, it will make things much easier when you start dating someone.

Remember You Are Beautiful

You can’t let your herpes infection defeat you. A lot of women stop paying attention to themselves and stop feeling beautiful when they learn about it. That is the wrong attitude to have, since you are a beautiful human being, and even though you may have flaws, you are still entitled to date people and find love in this world. So keep your chin up, look after yourself, pamper yourself and get back into the dating game again.

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Herpes: Prevention and Treatment While You Are Dating

Having herpes is not an easy matter for any individual, regardless of how much they know about it or how old they happen to be. If you think you may suffer from it, do your share of research and visit your doctor. While the doctor could discuss the matter with you and confirm things if you have herpes, it is best that you see a genito-urinary specialist.

It is easier to diagnose a person with herpes when the infection is present on their body at the time of the test. Usually, herpes is determined with the help of a blood test. Sadly, there is a slight chance of these tests coming negative, even if you have herpes. Experts also perform another test where a sore/blister is broken and a swab of the fluid is taken. Once it has been discovered that you are certainly suffering from herpes, the doctor will ask you a series of questions. In this way, they will figure out how bad the infection is or how bad they could get. Furthermore, the doctors could also tell if stress illnesses trigger these outbreaks or worsen them.

Medication for Herpes

Firstly, you must know that herpes can never be gone fully. Medications can be given for outbreaks that are generally antivirals, which stops the virus from multiplying. Generally, there are two types of treatments:

  • 1. Episodic: An antiviral course for 5 days is given to those who have less than 5-6 occurrences in a year.
  • 2. Suppressive: An antiviral course is given to patients that have more than 5-6 outbreaks in a year, that is longer in comparison to episodic patients.

Self-Treatment for Herpes

Of course, your doctor will be providing you with all the information that you must know, alongside the medications you must take. However, there are several things that you could do to help yourself:

  • In some patients it is found that bathing in slightly salted water can cause the pain to soothe down a little.
  • If the pain is quite bad, you could always take painkillers.
  • Try to wear loose and soft clothes that allow some air around the infected area.
  • Keep away from sexual activities until your symptoms are fully gone.
  • Make sure you often wash your hands thoroughly, especially if you have just touch an infected part of your body.
  • Apply some petroleum jelly now and then to the areas that are infected.

Herpes During Pregnancy

Although many say that passing on herpes to your child via pregnancy and childbirth is not possible, you need to understand a few facts:

  • If the mother had contracted herpes before she got pregnant, there is a very low chance that she will pass it on to her baby. This is due to the fact that antibodies will be passed on to the baby during pregnancy which will give him/her protection during the nine months, as well as after they are born.
  • If the expecting mother acquires herpes during the first 13 weeks of her pregnancy, there is some chance of the foetus contracting it. This mother will then be prescribed antiviral drugs to help her with the infections.
  • If the mother acquires the disease during the late stage of pregnancy, there will be a good chance of the baby getting it too during or just before delivery. In this situation, the doctor will advise the mother to have the baby by a Caesarean section operation, especially if the mother is suffering from blisters at that time.

Prevention of Herpes

To reduce the chances of acquiring herpes or passing it on to your partner or people around you, you could take note of the following:

  • Try not to have sex when the infections are present. In other words, outbreaks are the worst time to have sex with your partner, as the sores and blisters will be painful and any fluids from the breakage of these could cause transmission.
  • Do not have several sexual partners, as that may only aggravate your situation.
  • If you happen to have oral herpes, kissing others is absolutely forbidden, along with performing oral sex on others.
  • Make sure that you use condoms, whether you plan on having sexual intercourse or oral sex. Also, before having sex, make sure that you did not have an outbreak recently.

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Having The Talk: Telling Your Partner About Your Herpes

It is absolutely natural to plan out things regarding your love life, if you happen to have genital herpes. Needless to say, when you need to talk about it with your partner, it needs to be done in the right way in the right setting. But that is only when you have come to terms with your condition, being truly comfortable in your skin.

Of course, there are chances of your partner not taking the news well. In such a situation, do not feel as if you are at fault; certain individuals do not know the facts of herpes. They jump to conclusions when someone admits to suffering from the condition.

Educate Yourself About Genital Herpes

It is always a great plan to learn in depth about your diagnosis, as it allows you to describe it to others easily. Additionally, it lets you come in terms with the signs, treatment methods and even the long-term effect of genital herpes. There are a number of things you could remember before you think about coming out to your partner:

Things To Remind Yourself Before You Have The Talk

Have the Talk

  • 1. It definitely is not life threatening.
  • 2. One out of five men have herpes, while one out of four women suffer from it too.
  • 3. Herpes does not affect fertility in any way.
  • 4. Chances of transmission are very low if you happen to avoid any sexual contact during outbreaks.
  • 5. All herpes are not genital herpes. There are herpes that occur due to having a cold or suffering from chicken pox.
  • 6. 85% of the world population has herpes, but very less people know about the matter. Just the absence of symptoms does not mean that do not suffer from the condition. As a result, you definitely come off as a responsible person, well updated with every detail of your entire system.

When To Bring It Up

Even if you happen to be quite all right with your diagnosis, you need not disclose your secret to every potential lover. Respect your limits and coming out when you are certain that the relationship you two share is worth making exclusive. Remember that you are sharing this piece of information not for the sake of letting them know, but because you wish for them to commit to the relationship they have with you.

What To Say

You do not need to be self-deprecating; stating the situation like it is absolutely terrible. Also, it is not a good idea to promote a bad reaction by beginning your statement with, “Now, do not freak out, but…” as that may cause them to become anxious. You need to show that you understand your situation as perfectly as possible, taking the right steps, such as giving a heads up to your partner. Moreover, bluntness is not required too; you could merely state that you tested positive for HSV-2, a form of herpes. Describing the condition as a “disease” is not an absolute must; you could go with the term “condition” instead. Additionally, do not refer to it as “revolting”, “horrible” or “awful”, as those words could just invoke nasty images in your partner’s head.

What If The Partner Is Someone You Have Never Slept With?

In this scenario, it is best to carefully and delicately handle the matter. If you happen to decide to disclose this piece of information, be sure to state it in a calm manner. It could be that they happen to have it too, or else, they could be quite understanding about it.

Some Discussion Starters

Although these are not to be deemed as scripts, they could be considered as pointers when starting a conversation about your ailment:

  • 7. “As we both are consenting adults who have the best of interests for one another, I believe we should discuss about safe sex.”
  • 8. “I wish to talk about something with you. Are you aware of sores that occur due to having a cold? They occur due a virus known as the herpes simplex virus. I happen to have the same sort of sore in my genital area.”
  • 9. “When two individuals get along well, just as we do, I think it is better to be open and honest with one another. I trust you, which is why I wish to share something personal. I had discovered a while ago that I had developed genital herpes.”